The Best Fanfic?
by yupsies
Summary: Peridot and Donald trump go on and epic adventure to save the world. (That part comes in later though, it starts out weird).
1. c

It was a bright sunny day at the barn

Peridot and lapis were watching tv

Peridot and lapis had really gotten to know eachother and had grown fond of each other

But on that day peridot had something to ask lapis

She wanted to fuse with her

But she didn't know, she might get really mad

But she had to try

Peridot: Hey Lapis

Lapis: Yes

Lapis knew something was off with peridot

Peridot: Uh lapis what is your stance on fusion

Lapis: What do you mean

Peridot: Lapis will you fuse with me

Lapis jumped back

Lapis: No

Lapis: do you have any I dea what I have been through

Peridot: I understand, but

Lapis: but what peridot

Peridot: But I thought maybe after this time you could of

Lapis stormed out of the barn

Peridot: Oh what have I done

Later

Lapis: Thanks for letting me say here steven

Steven: no problem

Steven: why do you need to say here again

Lapis: I think I just need some alone time

That night peridot was sitting in the barn thinking about what had happned

Peridot: Ugh I am such an idiot why would she wan't do fuse with me after what happened

Suddenly peridot heard something

She saw a figure standing in the shadows

He had a suit on and small hands

Suddenly he stepped into the light

Peridot: Donald Trump

Dt: That's right peridot

Peridot: How do you know my name

Dt: I know everyone's name

Dt: and I came because I heard you were having a bit of a problem

Peridot: I tried to fuse with lapis, but she stormed out mad

Peridot: What I did was terrible

Dt: No it wasn't, it's like I always say You have to think anyway, so why not think big

Peridot: Wow thanks trump

Dt: Call me donald Peridot

Dt: You know what else all of the women on the apprentice flirted with me, consciously or unconsciously, that''s to be expected

Peridot: well that's great, but that doesn't help me

Dt: trust me it does

Peridot: say, is there anyway you can make lapis forgive me, oh and also not build a wall

Dt: Well I'm gonna build a wall, but I might be able to help you

Suddenly trump had teleported to lapis

Lapis: ahh

Dt: You need to forgive your freind lapis

Lapis: Ok

Suddenly trump flew lapis to the moon with peridot and they made up, and the vapire with two heads was there to and everyone was happy

 **Later**

Peridot: Well thank you for helping me out donald

Dt: No problem, if you ever need me just call

Peridot: I will

Trump: OH also maybe you can teach me about the gems

Peridot: Well us gems come from outer space

They walked and talked into the sunset

Narrator: So that is were our journey ends

Narrator: No loose ends friends made and a lesson learned

Narrator: Who know's what will come next in the great dream of life, but what is important is that we do it together as human beings

Donald trump woke up

Trump: woah that was a weird dream

the end


	2. o

Trump: No wait there's more

Narrator: Oh ok

Trump got out of bed and realized that it was not a dream and he was now flying away with peridot off to the moon

Trump: where are we going

Peridot: AHhhhhhhh

Trump: What

Peridot: I said ahhhhhhhhhh

They crashed into a cheese vase with cheese inside

YOu wouldn't belevie this cheese vase

It was the most tremedous amazing vase

The architecture back on the moon was just beautiful

Than Trump woke up

Trump: A dream within a dream perhaps

The end


	3. v

Or so the narrator thought...

Suddenly the narrator woke up

Amethyst: yo

Narrator: WAH

The end


	4. f

Previosly on what ever this is: The end, WAH, yo,

Lion woke up on steven's head

Lion realized he had gone to far back

It was december 4, 2014

Season 1, episode 35

Steven jumped out from under lion

Steven: LION

Lion: OMg I can talk

Steven: I will name this lion 3: straight to video

Lion: That is a terrible name

Pearl: rude

They decided to get rid of the evil lion

The end

Though you know there will be more


	5. e

Lars woke up

Lars: MOG MOG

Narrator what's mog

Lars: Don't know

Peridot: don't care

The end


	6. fe

Donald trump woke up again

Dt: Omg this is bigger than one persons dream

Dt: donald trump found himself flying back to the moon

Dt: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

We zoom in his mouth

The end


	7. xcha

Lapis woke up

Lapis: Definition has no meaning

Donld trump: You can say that again

They flew to mars

Dt: Hey lapis why are flying to mars and not the moon

Lapis: The moon has been destroyed

Dt: By who

Lapis: White diamond

Dt: Oh My GOD WE HEard hER NAmE

The end


	8. For mars

White diamond woke up

She was sitting on her couch watching the life of donald trump

White diamond: This is a good show

She said this as she blew up the moon for no reason

White: They keep going to the moon fr no reason

Narrator: Oh so there is a reason

White diamond: YUp

White diamond: Mars is next

Dt: Not mars

He and lapis flew to white diamond and punched her

Lapis/DT: For MARS

The end


	9. Chapter chicken invasion

A chicken woke up

Chicken bob: Quak

Dt: Liar

Donald punched chicken bob

Donald looked around and saw millions of chicken floating in the sky

The end


	10. Chdjs

Peridot woke up

Perdot: What is going on

She looked around the barn it was almost pitch black

She saw lapis lying down facing a different way from her

Peridot: Lapis

NO response

Peridot: Lapis

She turned lapis over to discover she was completely naked and had no face

Peridot: AHHHHHHHHHH


	11. Desssssssssseeeerrrt

Peridot Woke up again in the middle of the dessert

Peridot: Omg this is insane

She looked around, there was nothing for miles

Peridot: This needs to stop

To be continued...


	12. Starting

3 years later

Donald trump was sitting in his office doing inportant president stuff

he was at the top, nothing could stop him now

But he still remembered the set of ominous dreams he had 3 years ago

Suddenly he saw a figure in the shadow

It was peridot

Dt: Your real

Peridot: Yes and I have the answer to stopping these dreams and saving the world

Her hair was a mess and she was in a cloak of some sort

Dt: What happened to you

Peridot: 3 years ago I woke up in the middle of the dessert

Peridot: I had stumbled upon and ancient map in some sort of code

Peridot: Soon I traveled mongolia where I tranined with a group all knowing monks and after a year I learned how to decipher their language

Peridot: Then I set off to descover what was on the map and brought to the mount everest

Peridot: Two nice fellows were my giudes until they could take me no further

Peridot: I climbed until I found and X made of sticks, then I dug until I uncoverd a book

Peridot handed dt the book

Dt: Woah

He read the rough translations peridot made

Dt: It all makes sense the chickens, the narrator, the faceless people

Peridot: We have to go find 9 artifacts and the people who hold them

Dt: Well when do we start

Peridot: right now

 **Honestly I don't even know what is happeneing with this story anymore, but It will continue. Congrats on making it this far please review what you think.**


	13. The suit

Peridot and Donlad trump were sitting in an office

Dt: What is the first artifact

Peridot it comes from the first dream and this one should be easy

Peridot: It is your suit

Dt: I remember what suit I was wearing but I don't know what happaned to it

Dt: I donated it, becuase you know how charitable I am

Peridot: no I don't

Dt: It was going to a homeless shealter in nevada

Peridot: Well lets go

Dt: How will we get it

Peridot: We will think about that later

They bought a plane ticket and flew away

Hours later

Peridot: Finally we are here

Dt: Yup and not a moment to late

Peridot typed the name into her gps, but it said arrive in 4 hours

Peridot: 4 HOURS

Dt: Why

Peridot looked around

Peridot: Wait this isn't nevada

Dt: It's not

Peridot: It's Nebraska

Peridot: YOU BOUGHT THE WRONG TICKET

Dt: Oops

They bought another plane ticket this time to nevada

Later they arrived

Peridot: Finally here in NEVADA

Dt: Yup

Peridot: My phone is dead

Peridot: Lets use yours

DT: I didn't bring it

Peridot: WHY NOT

Dt: we have yours

Peridot: Ugh

She found a local caffe and she charged her phone there

Donald got some coffe

It was the middle of the night and it was raining

Peridot: Ugh this is a mess how are we going to find the suit

Suddenly and old man yelled out

Old traveler: SUIT

Peridot: Uh yeah

Old traveler: You aint lookin for an artifact suit

Peridot: Yes we are

Old Traveler: I have read ancient scribes about the nine artifacts, I spent my entire life looking for them, It is a waste of time they don't exist

Old traveler: Be worned that path is a dangerous one

He then put on a hood and walked out

Peridot: That was weird

Dt: Yup

they got a hotel and slept

the next morning they set out to find the shelter

Peridot: Alright according to google maps we are... here

All they saw was dirt and what looked like a sign

It read: Relocation to Nebraska

Peridot: OMG

Dt: Well we are going to nebraska

Then they heard a fammilliar voice

Voice: I can't let you do that

They turned around to see the old man from the caffe

Old Traveler: This is far bigger than you those artifacts belong to the following

He took out a gun

Peridot: Hah he cant hurt me my gem is safe

He aimed right for her gem

Old traveler: I know very much about gem kind and you guys already know to much

Suddenly trump did a jumping spinning side kick knocking the guy out

Peridot: Woah

Dt: I was trained in seven martial arts for some reason

Peridot: Cool

They got their plane ticket and headed to nebraska

When they arrived they headed staright for the place

They got there and wen't inside

The suit was sitting on a table

Dt: I don't know I can't steal from charity

Peridot: well the world will end if you dont

Dt: fine

He ran and took the suit

It glowed for a second and then stopped

Peridot: Yes that is the 1st artifact

Dt: Lets go

Donald put the suit in his suit case, kinda fitting don't you think, and they were on their way

Dt: What is the next artifact

Peridot: It is from the second dream

Peridot: The cheese vase

 **PS.** **A lot of dream stuff affected real life ad I don't even know what is going on.**


	14. The Cheese Vase

They were now ready to get the cheese vase

Dt: How are we going to find the cheese vase the moon has blown up

Peridot: Yes, but I heard a story of a meteor that crashed into a village

Peridot: The meteor brought end to the villages hunger

He gasped

Donald trump: The cheese inside the cheese vase

Peridot: Right

Peridot: This was in a tribe in africa

Dt: Okay lets go

Peridot: It is not that simple this time

Peridot: The village only allows people of great power and there aquantances in

Dt: Well I am the president

Peridot: Oh yeah than it is that simple

They got once again a plane ticket and flew to africa

They then embarked on a journey fighting lions and traveling through the savvana

until they made it at a local village with a statue of a vase

Peridot looked at her map

Peridot: This is it

Everyone gasped at donald trump just walking bye

The leader of the village came out

Leader: Hello travelers what brings you here

Peridot: We are looking for the cheese vase

Leader: Ah yes that thing stopped making cheese so it is worthless to us now

dt: Good so take us to-

Leader: But you have arrived so perfectly for it is the yearly feast today

Leader: You must join us

Leader: My name is leader

Dt: Really just leader

Leader: Yes, now come the feast is beginning

They sat around and ate at a grand table even though peridot didn't eat

Dt: Alright we should be going now to get the vase

Leader: No you must stay for the yearly party

Peridot: No we have to go

Leader: Please I insist

Dt: Ok fine

Hours later

Peridot: That was great, but we must leave

Leader: But you are forgetting the after party

Dt: No we must go this time

Leader: Come on

Peridot: NO

Leader: You are running me out of options here

His native accent was turning into a transylvanian accent

peridot: Wait a second

Peridot: She started to wonder why he so conveniently spoke english

Peridot: Its you

He took off a mask reaveling he was the two headed vampire from the 1st dream

Dt: I knew it

2HV= 2 headed vmapire

2HV: I didn't wan't to do this since we were friends, but that vase belongs to the following

He shot lazers out of his eyes for some reason

Trump dodged this and ran and punched

He doged it and picked up Donald trump

Peridot: Used her metal powers and picked up a metal beam holding the fort up and hit him with it

He stumbled back and then turned into a two headed bat and disappeard

The place came tumbling down

Peridot: Grabbed the cheese vase and trump and ran out before it collapsed

Peridot: Pheww

Later

They were sitting on the savanna

Peridot well that is 2

Donald trump put the cheese vase in his suit case

Dt: What is the next artifact

Peridot: Well we are going to have to break the fourth wall a bit because we need the narrator's bed

 **This has turned into and adventure**


	15. The Narrator's Bed

Dt: How are we going to get the narrator's bed

Peridot: The book describes bringing 2 artifacts together is powerful enough to break the fourth wall

Dt: Well good thing we have exactly 2

Peridot: Well here is the thing in order to break the fourth wall we need the owner of the artifacts

Dt: well that should be easy I own the suit

Peridot: Yes, but who owend the vase

They both thought

Peridot: I got it

Peridot scrolled through the book until she found the page on artifact orgins

Peridot: It says here the cheese vase was ancient gem tech, belonging to whichever diamond owned the moon

Peridot: Pink diamond is dead

Dt: So who owns the moon now

Peridot: It says whoever posses the cheese vase is the owner

Peridot: Oh so technically we are the owners

Dt: So then what now

Peridot: We need to go to sacred land and stand in a circle holding each artifact

Dt: Where is sacred land

Peridot: It says mars

Dt: Good mars isn't blown up yet

Peridot: And I know how to get there

Dt: How

Peridot: The cheese vase can act as a portal to mars, all we have to do is jump in

They jumped into the cheese vase appearing on mars

Peridot: We made it

Dt: Yes and I can breathe for some reason

They held the two artifacts standing in a circle

A light beam began to appear in between them

Peridot: WOAH

Suddenly they were teleported

Everything was white until a room began to form

In the room reaveled a giant person and a giant bed

Dt: This is it

Then narrator looked at them

Narrator: I am the narrator, I have been expecting you

Peridot: Hi we need your bed

Narrator: Sure let me just-NOPE

The narrator grabbed at peridot and stole dt's suit case

Narrator: As the narrator I am sworn protecter of the bed for the following

Peridot: What even the narrator is part of the following

Narrator: Yes and now that I contain 2 artifacts in hand I can in this dimension narrate

Peridot: What does that mean

Narrator: Peridot fell over knocking down both of them

They fell

Dt: What is this

Narrator: Now I am all powerful

Narrator: Peridot and Dt start fighting

They started fighting

Peridot: Wait

Peridot: I know his weakness

Dt: What

Peridot: He has to talk and be heard if nobody hears him he cant do this

Peridot: When he starts cover you ears and scream at the top of you lungs

He was about to say something else when they started

Narrator: What is this nothing is working

Dt Jumped on the giant bet climbed up the narrator and stole the suit case

Peridot used the metal in the suitcase to control it and she brought down Dt and the case

Narrator: No

Dt: That's right

Peridot: The narrator get's thrown out of existence

He got thrown into oblivion

Dt: Glad that is over

Peridot: How are we going to get this giant bed though

Dt: I have a shrink I brought for some reason

Peridot: Cool

He took out the shrink ray and shrunk the bed to pocket size, putting it in his suitcase

They looked out the window reavling more giant people and a giant Dt and Peridot walking around outside

Dt: Woah it's giant me

Peridot: This is one universe bigger, but everything else is the same

Dt: And they must be heading out to their own giant world

Dt: I wonder how there giant world would be to us

Peridot: That doesn't matter, we must get back

They arranged the artifacts and teleported back to earth

Peridot: Few that was crazy

Dt: There was a whole world of giant people

Dt: Anyway what is next

Peridot: It looks like out next artifact is from chapter four we need a copy of season one of steven universe autographed bye steven himself

Dt: That shouldn't be so hard

Peridot: No you are right it's actually pretty easy

 **ont sngclemlh ow gfiiio. You would have to be a genuis to decipher this, but it does mean something**


End file.
